Laos is even more lovely than I’d remembered. Immediately, it’s Sabaajdii (hello) and smiles everywhere I turn. We arrive in Vientiane, and my stomach is already aching from the prior day’s dinner of dog. So I am tethered to the toilet for the entire day. Guess this is my penance for dining on America’s most beloved pet. That evening, we venture out for dinner and I swear every Laotian dog is barking at me, like they could smell it on me!
We eat dinner at a restaurant that serves as a culinary training center for street youth. A regional NGO operates the restaurant and other programs for street youth, and my friend is considering being a major donor. The staff member explains the programs nervously to us, with large pauses from our questions. His stammering makes me smile inwardly, so glad to be out of philanthropy and making people nervous all the time!
The next day, my friend heads back to Seattle and I’m alone for the first time on my trip. At the encouragement of friends from the US, I go to COPE (www.copelaos.org) and am blown away. I have often heard about the secret war in Laos and the millions of landmines, but I had never been able to really wrap my head around the devastation. At the COPE Visitor Center, I learned the U.S. Airforce dropped 260 million bombs through 500,000 bombing missions between 1965 to 1975. There are an estimated 80 million unexploded cluster bombs in Laos. The rising cost of scrap metal compounded by poverty creates a lethal equation. A mere 2,000 kip per kilogram (12 cents/pound) is enough incentive, with almost half of all reported accidents from collecting scrap metal or salvaging explosives.
The artwork, installations, videos and photos are gripping and bring the big numbers to life through stories of local people. I watch a video and feel like I’m sitting with the family as they tell the story of their 9-year old son who was killed. Children are exploited by adults in horrible ways throughout the world. In this case, the adults use metal detectors and when they find metal send the children in to salvage the metal. The three children accidentally struck the bomb and it exploded. Villagers heard the explosion and summoned the parents. The parents hired a car to take them to a hospital in the city. When they arrived at the hospital, there was no blood or oxygen. They went to another city, and the second hospital also didn’t have blood or oxygen. So they brought their son home to die. This is the reality of the lack of infrastructure in Southeast Asia. I can hear countless statistics, buzzwords and jargon, but these are the stories that stay with me and make me want to change the world.
And for the people that do survive these accidents, COPE creates prosthetic limbs. The average prosthetic limb lasts two years, and only 6 to 9 months for growing children. Of course, in most of the rural areas people are devising their own limbs from wood, plastic, metal, anything they can salvage and using them for 30 years. I was so inspired by the stories of people who are now self-sufficient due to COPE.
The next day, I go to Luang Prubang, one of my favorite cities in Southeast Asia. My first night there, I go to the night market and sit at communal tables while gnawing on BBQ chicken and sticky rice. The adjacent diner speaks to me in Lao, I look up and see the most drop-dead gorgeous man. I nonchalantly lift my jaw from the ground, and we exchange the usual pleasantries. He’s from Southern Laos, works for an NGO and is in Luang Prubag for one night. He’s with two friends but they are pretty quiet and aren’t as Engligh-proficient as their friend. They invite me out for a drink, and I decide to stay open to this adventure and go with them. We promptly lose his two friends in the night market and he calls his friends. They promise to meet up with us later, and I never see them again. So suddenly, I’m on a man-date – lounging on cushions in a private cabana nestled in a bamboo grove next to the river. At first, I give him pat answers to his questions, but it doesn’t take long for me to open up and disclose more – I’m a recovering alcoholic (why don’t you drink?) and a lesbian (why aren’t you married at 40?). I also tell him my latest journeys in Southeast Asia have opened me up to the possibility of being with a man. We talk and laugh for hours, and he tells me I have the heart of a man, and I’m immediately struck by his keen observation. He asks me how I will know when I will be with a man, and I honestly reply that I don’t know. As the night progresses, it becomes clear to me how I will know, or rather how I know when it WON’T happen.
The moon is out and it’s a sultry Southeast Asian evening. This guy is devastatingly handsome and I’m enjoying his company. At first, it’s amusing when he tells me we should try to make the impossible happen tonight. But as he walks me home, he starts to get pushy and aggressive and in an instant I know that tonight I won’t end my 18-year streak of not kissing men. After I firmly reject his offers to return to his hotel room, he tells me he thinks I’m afraid of him. This is the most hysterical statement to me. Even though I’m walking with a stranger at night and alone in a foreign country, I don’t have a hint of fear. I am a strong confident woman, and am in control of myself and the situation. I don’t feel a tinge of regret when we say good night, and I wonder where my next man-date will take me.
Sucking the Marrow from Life 
you go girl! no fear! I want more information regarding the COPE program. If you are there and see the good they are doing and lack of any corruption within the organization, I would surely gather donations in Orange County, California and spread awareness here..as always, thank you for sharing from your broadening perspective.
Susan, thank you so much for your generosity. I provided an email introduction to you from the staff at COPE and really appreciate all your support!
Wow what a story! Keep enjoying and LP has a special place in my heart as well!
William, Manichan Guest House is as lovely as always. I’ve extended my stay in Luang Prubang to at least nine days and it’s hard to go. Have made many friends with locals and expats. My man-date was at Uyen Sabai (across the river on the bamboo bridge) and at Utopia.
I always thought I would be your first man-date! 😉
Who is this? I never thought I’d be on a man-date so how could it be you 🙂
Sorry just can’t fathom eating dog! But then again I never eat Cow either, if I can help it.
Enjoying your blog so much, Annie! Keep it up. I know what you mean about philanthropy and the nervousness of others. Weird Business! ? hugs, J
Jackie, I had never imagined eating dog either on my two prior trips to Vietnam. But I am really embracing life and culture these days…Glad you are enjoying the blog. And thanks for teaching me so much about fundraising and philanthropy!
Dog-eater?! Man-eater?! Oops, I mean, man-Dater?!!! What’s gotten into you?!!! 😉
June, The most unexpected (and lovely) things are happening to me every single day. It is AMAZING! Come visit me in Asia and find out for yourself. The fam will love it.
Yeh, don’t think I could do the dog or the man! I’d be holding out for one who’s a little less pretty and a lot more respectful. Good on ya for giving it a whirl, tho, Anne I love your openness. The rest of the story is devastating, especially the impact on children. It’s really hard to read, but keep the stories coming.
P.S. Checked with my friends who sail in Greece… no plans for this September but they’re spontaneous people, so if something changes I’ll let you know right away.
Susan, you are in the majority camp of my friends about the dog and the man 🙂 Thanks for the feedback about the blog. I’m so happy to share about the work of the NGOs in the field and the people who are living here. Let me know about Greece too!
You had me going at man-date- what a story teller you are!!
Thanks for information on COPE. I can’t wait to read about your next adventures in SE Asia.
Sue, there is so much material here – the blog is such a small fraction of what I’m actually experiencing. Please check out COPE’s web site. They are really amazing.
Thanks for a great entry, Annie. Very touching, humorous, and suspenseful all at once. You are an amazing story-teller. Oh wait, you’re no longer giving out money. I no longer need to butter you up. Strike everything I just said.
Very funny, Vu. Your writing has been so inspriring to me, em!
Annie-
I have come to really enjoy your stories. They are a great escape from my day to day life here in Seattle. Enjoy the adventure, food and friendships.
While in Japan I drank small fish swimming in a wine glass (there was no taste that I can recall), octopus so fresh its suction pads could be felt on my tongue, raw horse meat, crickets and much (much more). I’d do it all again, and perhaps someday I’ll have the chance to venture even further outside my comfort zone.
Do take care and keep sending us tid-bits of your travels!
Lawrence, Thanks for your note, but I think you have me beat in your culinary adventures. My biggest thing this past week was goat. They are selling lots of fried bugs in the morning market, and I might have to sample in honor of you!
I knew that I would love reading your adventures again. Not only is it eating dog one day, but almost immediately followed by a “man-date.” I’m sure you would have been head in toilet too if it had gone any further than the walk in the dark…hah!
Pauline, ha ha ha. I never know what will happen to me in the next few hours, let alone the next day. I’m having the time of my life. Bring the fam to SE Asia for a visit in 2011!
I just discovered your blog and am so intrigued and impressed by your courage and willingness to follow life where it takes you.
I just finished reading The Alchemist and combined with your blog, I’m inspired to not be so afraid and to just go with the flow and live in the moment more. Thank you!
Sorry, I guess I wasn’t signed in, but here’s a link to my blog. I recently spent 6 months abroad and loved almost every second of it! 🙂
http://beckyb26.wordpress.com/
Becky, thanks so much! I love the Mark Twain quote on your blog and frequently think of it when get scared. Just subscribed to your blog as well. I had a plot in a community garden in Seattle’s International District for many years and am a big fan of urban gardening.