Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Laos’

The best [blank] ever

Posted in The best [blank] ever, tagged , on April 20, 2010| 3 Comments »

My last week in Laos was amazing. Laos New Year (Pi Mai) officially lasts for three days but is celebrated for one week in Luang Prubang. Water is a major theme of their new year’s celebration. Water is used to pour over monks, elders and Buddha images. This custom has evolved more playfully into splashing people with water through any means necessary – squirt guns, hoses, bowls and buckets of water. Everyone joins in the fun and gets doused. If I’m walking on the street, I’ll be drenched. Driving on a moped, I’ll get a wet head. They will even open the doors of your car and pour water on you! So I succumbed to the madness and became a water douser, splashing and getting splashed for many hours on the street. And of course there was dancing too. And karaoke. And many toasts (I just drank water). At the end of the day, all of my friends starting washing their hair with the hose and I politely declined to shampoo my hair on the street. And then it hit me – I felt like such a dumb American.

For two weeks, I’ve been watching my friends wash their hair in the river. Most of my friends have squat toilets in their homes, and my one friend that has a regular toilet always apologizes that she doesn’t have running water in her house when I need to use the bathroom. She told me she stayed awake until 2am waiting for the water to turn on so she could fill her buckets (which is what she uses to flush her toilet, take a shower, wash her dishes). Everyone washes their hair in any available water source because they don’t have water – duh! My friends live in a city, drive mopeds and cars, look like supermodels, but they don’t have running water. I was relating this revelation to the owner of my guesthouse and he told me he also sets his alarm clock to wake up in the middle of the night to fill up his tank with water. I had no idea – I just turn on the faucet or shower and the water comes out, so I assumed he had a limitless water supply!

In addition to the water splashing and cultural ceremonies for new year, I was also invited to a friend’s house for their new year Baci ceremony. Baci ceremonies are performed at many times in Laos, for a wedding, new baby, housewarming, etc. The new year’s Baci is supposed to be the most auspicious. The living room was filled with elders and children, circling around the offerings. After some chanting, everyone ties string around people’s wrists. First one wrist and then the other, while offering blessings. In English, my friends wished me good health, good luck, happiness, success, love and out with the old and in with the new.

After extending my stay several times, I finally had to leave Laos and arrived in Chiang Mai, Thailand two days ago. Tonight, I had the best massage ever! Which is saying a lot since I’ve probably had over 100 massages. A few minutes into it, I realized it was the best massage in my life. It’s even better when as it’s happening, you know it’s the best _____ ever!

Everyday, I’m speaking in superlatives. Last night, I ate the best curry ever! In Laos, I had the best time! I just bought the best bikini! My mom sent me the sweetest email the other day. She said she can’t remember me telling her that I’ve been completely happy. And that she is so happy I’m happy now. My first reaction was to think that I’m a pretty happy person so a bit surprised by her statement. But as the days passed and I ladled out the superlatives, I realized I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Sometimes, it feels almost sinful to be this happy. I get over that pretty quickly when I realize I’ve worked hard to get to this point in my life and I absolutely deserve every shred of happiness.

That doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for my life. Today, I went on a tour with a Danish husband and his son, and a Thai wife and her daughter. It was a weird Brady Bunch blended family. And they were all totally miserable. The woman was the same age as me but looked decades older. I wondered why she married her husband and about all the sacrifices she’s made in her life to create a better life for her daughter.

Tonight, I removed the strings from my wrists since it’s been three days since the Baci ceremony. I think this is going to be THE BEST YEAR EVER!

Read Full Post »

Lounging with the ladies in Laos

Posted in Lounging with the ladies in Laos, tagged , on April 11, 2010| 2 Comments »

I’ve been in Luang Prubang for ten days and extended my visit another week so I can celebrate Lao New Year with my friends. Everyone embraces me immediately. My first day here I am surrounded by five beautiful Lao women (and one American man). The day is filled with food, laughing, swimming, napping and more eating. And dancing! We go to the most charming Lao nightclub. The dance floor is encircled by large booths. A live band plays Lao music, and each song has a different dance. The band strikes up a new tune and everyone shuffles on to the floor. It’s all partner dancing, mostly girl + girl. I am delighted to see two 70-year old men dancing together ! And also drag queens! I don’t know how people can say that Asia is homogenous. At the end of the song, people clasp their hands, bow their heads to their partner and retreat to their booths for 30 seconds until the next song. They also love line dancing! Eventually, the band takes a break and the DJ plays American and Lao pop/hip hop. Everyone cuts loose for 30 minutes until the band returns. I can’t tell if they like the traditional dances more than the modern music, because everyone is having such a great time all night long.

It’s been really interesting to develop friendships in Laos. At first, the friendships are shallow – sweet, but superficial. I don’t know anything about Lao culture, and don’t want to make assumptions so am always asking questions. It probably helps to break down barriers since I also share with them about my life and American culture. A few days into the friendships, people start to open up and we have deep philosophical conversations. Everyone’s favorite topic is love. Happiness is a semi-close second. How many relationships have you had? How many times have you been in love? How many hearts have you broken? How many times have you had your heart broken? And then we talk about the correlation of the narrowing numbers. We are eating lunch by the river in 105 degree heat, and I am learning the most fascinating things about myself, love and Laos.

It’s not only laughing and lounging with the ladies. I visited one of three orphanages in Luang Prubang. This one is huge, filled with 517 children ages eight to 18. The government provides support, but only six cents per child per day. Fortunately, locals and tourists are very generous and provide supplemental donations, supplies, clothes, food, notebooks, etc. (www.lao-kids.org) I’m there with a novice monk and a group of six Australians. They have brought notepads and pens, and we go into each classroom to pass out the supplies. It goes pretty quickly, because all the students are thankful but shy. By the time we run out of supplies, one of the Aussies is determined to make a connection with these kids. He’s a primary school teacher, and uses interactive games to draw out the children. Students are volunteering, yelling out answers in English, laughing and clapping. It’s lunchtime, so the other classrooms have emptied out and the windows are filled with other onlooking students. I’m taking copious notes since I’ll be teaching English next month at Vietnamese orphanages.

In the afternoon, I go to the local library to help my American friend, Justin, with science experiments. He’s a former engineer and recently moved to Laos to start an NGO (www.villagescience.org). Science, technology, engineering and math (STEM) are all the rage in the US, but Laos has a long way to go. He wants to use science as a pathway out of poverty in Luang Prubang. Currently, whenever large infrastructure projects occur in Laos (roads, water, etc.) they use Lao people for entry-level jobs and import skilled-labor from other parts of Asia. Justin has setup three microscopes at the library to get children initially interested in classes. At first, they are a bit tentative, but within minutes they are animatedly peering through the microscope and swapping slides. These 13-year old children have never seen a microscope in their lives.

After the science experiments, we help the librarian develop a powerpoint presentation for her workshop in Sweden. She has never left Laos, and is nervous about her workshop and the weather. I feel somewhat useful and wonder if I can start a small business developing powerpoint decks J Besides running the local library, she has developed a partnership with a US-based NGO (www.communitylearninginternational.org) to distribute books to remote villages in Laos. Over the past five years, they have provided books to 200 different villages in Luang Prubang Province through a floating library on the Mekong Delta. She has developed a book bag concept and it costs $2 per book, with 100 books per book bag or $200 to supply books for an entire village! Children don’t have textbooks, let alone pleasure reading and it’s astounding what a small amount of money can do in Laos. We discuss getting the hotels/guesthouses in Luang Prubang to sponsor a book bag through their guests, and my guesthouse is the first one to sign up (thank you Manichan Guesthouse!).

That night, I meet three university students. They are in the inaugural class of a five-year degree program for IT Business Management. I ask them what kinds of jobs they will get upon graduation, and they tell me there are no jobs in Laos yet. No one is really ready for them. The teachers weren’t fully prepared with curriculum, and the labor market doesn’t exist yet. It’s unlikely they can get jobs in neighboring Southeast Asian counties as well. They will probably become tour guides or work in marketing, until foreign businesses come to Laos and can draw on this energetic, ambitious talent pool. I only wish I could help them attract businesses now.

It’s hard to believe I was in Seattle four weeks ago. My life seems so different now and everyday I’m thankful for this eye-opening, heart-pounding, cheesy-grin-filled life of mine.

Read Full Post »

My first man-date

Posted in My first man-date, tagged , on April 5, 2010| 23 Comments »

Laos is even more lovely than I’d remembered. Immediately, it’s Sabaajdii (hello) and smiles everywhere I turn. We arrive in Vientiane, and my stomach is already aching from the prior day’s dinner of dog. So I am tethered to the toilet for the entire day. Guess this is my penance for dining on America’s most beloved pet. That evening, we venture out for dinner and I swear every Laotian dog is barking at me, like they could smell it on me!

We eat dinner at a restaurant that serves as a culinary training center for street youth. A regional NGO operates the restaurant and other programs for street youth, and my friend is considering being a major donor. The staff member explains the programs nervously to us, with large pauses from our questions. His stammering makes me smile inwardly, so glad to be out of philanthropy and making people nervous all the time!

The next day, my friend heads back to Seattle and I’m alone for the first time on my trip. At the encouragement of friends from the US, I go to COPE (www.copelaos.org) and am blown away. I have often heard about the secret war in Laos and the millions of landmines, but I had never been able to really wrap my head around the devastation. At the COPE Visitor Center, I learned the U.S. Airforce dropped 260 million bombs through 500,000 bombing missions between 1965 to 1975. There are an estimated 80 million unexploded cluster bombs in Laos. The rising cost of scrap metal compounded by poverty creates a lethal equation. A mere 2,000 kip per kilogram (12 cents/pound) is enough incentive, with almost half of all reported accidents from collecting scrap metal or salvaging explosives.

The artwork, installations, videos and photos are gripping and bring the big numbers to life through stories of local people. I watch a video and feel like I’m sitting with the family as they tell the story of their 9-year old son who was killed. Children are exploited by adults in horrible ways throughout the world. In this case, the adults use metal detectors and when they find metal send the children in to salvage the metal. The three children accidentally struck the bomb and it exploded. Villagers heard the explosion and summoned the parents. The parents hired a car to take them to a hospital in the city. When they arrived at the hospital, there was no blood or oxygen. They went to another city, and the second hospital also didn’t have blood or oxygen. So they brought their son home to die. This is the reality of the lack of infrastructure in Southeast Asia. I can hear countless statistics, buzzwords and jargon, but these are the stories that stay with me and make me want to change the world.

And for the people that do survive these accidents, COPE creates prosthetic limbs. The average prosthetic limb lasts two years, and only 6 to 9 months for growing children. Of course, in most of the rural areas people are devising their own limbs from wood, plastic, metal, anything they can salvage and using them for 30 years. I was so inspired by the stories of people who are now self-sufficient due to COPE.

The next day, I go to Luang Prubang, one of my favorite cities in Southeast Asia. My first night there, I go to the night market and sit at communal tables while gnawing on BBQ chicken and sticky rice. The adjacent diner speaks to me in Lao, I look up and see the most drop-dead gorgeous man. I nonchalantly lift my jaw from the ground, and we exchange the usual pleasantries. He’s from Southern Laos, works for an NGO and is in Luang Prubag for one night. He’s with two friends but they are pretty quiet and aren’t as Engligh-proficient as their friend. They invite me out for a drink, and I decide to stay open to this adventure and go with them. We promptly lose his two friends in the night market and he calls his friends. They promise to meet up with us later, and I never see them again. So suddenly, I’m on a man-date – lounging on cushions in a private cabana nestled in a bamboo grove next to the river. At first, I give him pat answers to his questions, but it doesn’t take long for me to open up and disclose more – I’m a recovering alcoholic (why don’t you drink?) and a lesbian (why aren’t you married at 40?). I also tell him my latest journeys in Southeast Asia have opened me up to the possibility of being with a man. We talk and laugh for hours, and he tells me I have the heart of a man, and I’m immediately struck by his keen observation. He asks me how I will know when I will be with a man, and I honestly reply that I don’t know. As the night progresses, it becomes clear to me how I will know, or rather how I know when it WON’T happen.

The moon is out and it’s a sultry Southeast Asian evening. This guy is devastatingly handsome and I’m enjoying his company. At first, it’s amusing when he tells me we should try to make the impossible happen tonight. But as he walks me home, he starts to get pushy and aggressive and in an instant I know that tonight I won’t end my 18-year streak of not kissing men. After I firmly reject his offers to return to his hotel room, he tells me he thinks I’m afraid of him. This is the most hysterical statement to me. Even though I’m walking with a stranger at night and alone in a foreign country, I don’t have a hint of fear. I am a strong confident woman, and am in control of myself and the situation. I don’t feel a tinge of regret when we say good night, and I wonder where my next man-date will take me.

Read Full Post »

Making lemonade out of lemons

Posted in Making lemonade out of lemons, tagged on December 26, 2009| Leave a Comment »

This trip is truly a discovery/rediscovery of myself and the world around me.  Many of you don’t know that Livia and I broke up a few weeks before my trip.  It was somewhat unexpected, but really the right thing for both of us.  I still planned on moving to New York, and in some ways it created a blank slate of new opportunities.  The road ahead in a new city was just for my own making.  Now, I could spend this trip for me, and not missing someone back home.  But those can be just words of consolation, as I try to see the positive side of life – always making lemonade out of lemons.  I have truly enjoyed this trip, but in quiet moments, I am sometimes rehashing my past relationships, my role, what I will do differently next time, what do I really want – standard break up fare. 

So it was a big surprise when I developed a crush on a 22-year old Laotian young man a few days ago!  He was our guide for a walking tour of Khmu ethnic minority villages in Nong Khiaw, Laos. We had wonderful conversations about everything, and we both revealed ourselves to each other.  On the boat ride home, I realized I had developed a small crush on him that made me smile.  I smiled because it felt good to know there are many people in this world I can develop a connection with – over the span of just a few hours.  Now if I can just find a more age-appropriate woman 🙂

I really loved my time in Nong Khiaw, another sleepy town nestled in the hills and on a river.  I spent two night there, the first night in the fanciest bungalow in town for the high price of $40 (and it doesn’t even have a flush toilet – just a bowl, no infrastructure for plumbing).  The next night I downgraded to a rustic bungalow for $6 (squat toilet and I was a bit fearful of bed bugs).  Both bungalows had stellar views of the river.  Both nights I also had the most amazing steam baths.  There is a small wooden 5′ x 8′ shack.  It take one hour to prepare the steam for you, individually creating a fire with aromatic herbs and wood, and the steam flows up through a small hole in the floor of the house.  It’s not too hot, so you can steam for about an hour.  Afterwards, they serve you delightful lemongrass tea in the cool evening air.  The total experience costs less than $2 and I slept like a baby.

I’ve returned to Luang Prubang and had a wonderful Christmas.  In the morning market, they sell little sparrows in bamboo cages and locals buy them to release and make a wish.  On Christmas morning, I bought two birds and made wishes for my future.  Seemed like a great gift to myself.  Spent Christmas day at the Tad Kuang Si waterfalls.  The owners of the guest house invited me to their Christmas dinner and we feasted for many hours.  Today, I will go on a bike ride and wind down with a massage.  Tomorrow, I fly to Hanoi for my final scheduled four weeks in Vietnam.  I am thinking of extending my stay though – maybe a few months in Thailand, Nepal and India, who knows? And that is the amazing thing about life.  One door closes, and smacks wide open a whole new world of possibilities. 

Attached are photos on an elephant trek (they usually only put max two people on the seat, and at first they placed me on the elephant’s neck, terrifying as we moved an I imagined myself coming all the way to SE Asia just to die from a fall from an elephant?!? So we crammed into the seat), my gleeful self with my 3-inch catch from net fishing in Nong Khiaw, and the view at twilight in Nong Khiaw.

Net fishing in Nong Khiaw, Laos.  I caught this three-inch fish and couldn’t be happier with a 25 pound salmon!

Twilight at Nong Khiaw, Laos.

Read Full Post »

Emerging from a cocoon

Posted in Emerging from a cocoon, tagged , on December 21, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Laos has been totally refreshing this past week. I spent three days visiting the temples surrounding Angkor Wat in Cambodia, and it is a truly magical place. But I also spent a lot of time hiding in my hotel room, watching endless movies on HBO/Cinemax. Generally, I am pretty fearless, but I was feeling afraid of the world and just wanted to hunker down in the safety of my air conditioned room. There are so many street vendors everywhere – from tuk tuk drivers to children selling post cards and water. Tourists (myself included at times) adopt this stance while walking on the street of looking down, avoiding eye contact and scurrying by the somewhat aggressive vendors. My isolation in the hotel room was an extrapoliation of this avoidance. I didn’t want to be this way, but just found myself slipping into this space while in Cambodia.

The Southeast Asian Games (regional Olympics) were occurring in Vientiane, Laos, so I headed for the hills and spent two nights in Vang Vieng, Laos. As soon as the bus left the city, rounded the curve and I saw the mountains, I breathed a sigh of relief. I forget how much I need nature sometimes. Vang Vieng is a beautiful town, located on the river and nestled in the hills. Spent an absolutely lovely day kayaking and caving. We used a sea kayak, and passed rice paddie fields and water buffalos cooling off in the river. I knew my days of fear were over when I entered a pitch black cave with only me and the tour guide, and I was laughing at the absurdity of it all (this is fun?! people pay money to scramble around in the dark?) instead of being afraid of being alone with a stranger in a cave. There is another weird side of Vang Vieng that includes backpackers sitting in restaurants watching endless episodes of “Friends” – I don’t know why they all play the same TV show, or getting drunk on the river and inner tubing. I was ready to leave and finally get to Luang Prubang, Laos.

They say Luang Prubang is a tonic for the soul, and this is definitely true for me as well. The town is straddled by two rivers, and has low lying buildings and just has a very relaxing vibe. I’m staying in a sweet guest house that fosters a communal sense so all the travelers spend their days together. I have emerged from my coccoon and ready to suck the marrow from life once again! This morning, we walked along the dark streets at 5:30 am to witness and participate in the daily alms for the monks. Hundreds of monks (most of them novice teenage boys) pass along the street collecting rice, bananas and other offerings from both locals and tourists. There are also local children that dot the streets kneeling with cardboard boxes. On occasion, the monks take food they have been given and provide it to the street children. It is an interesting circle of life, generosity and poverty.

My plans are evolving, but I will likely spend the next few days in the north at a small rural village on a homestay with a local family. They don’t have electricity or plumbing, and I want to get a sense of how most Laotians live outside the cities. This feels like the perfect way to spend Christmas, and I continue to be so thankful for my life, this experience, my family and friends. Thank you to all of you for being in my life!

Attached are photos of me at Angkor Wat, Cambodia; view from my bungalow in Vang Vieng, Laos; me providing morning alms to monk in Luang Prubang, Laos.

Angkor Wat in Siem Riep, Cambodia.
Bumpy bike ride outside Pnomh Penh, Cambodia.
Morning alms in Luang Prubang, Laos.

Read Full Post »